Of Magic and Mechanics
by Doctor Wheel
Summary: An accident with the Teleporters sends our favorite Texan into the past filled with knights, kings, and castles. While that may sound bad enough, it is a past filled with monsters that are not supposed to exist! To get back to the present, he must enlist the help of an elusive equine: a unicorn.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is what happens when I run out of ideas and eat Lucky Charms with that new** **marshmallow** **shape.**

 **No seriously, this is what happens.**

* * *

"Soldier, vhat are you doing?"

Medic was taking out the trash when he noticed the American patriot was climbing the radio tower located on top of the base.

"I am fixing the cable doctor! What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Soldier! Zhe cable is not up there, come down before you hurt yourself, dummkopf!"

"It will take more than a stupid fall to hurt me! I will not deterred in the name of AMERICA!"

Medic facepalmed and sighed. "Gah, vhy do I even bother...?"

At the same time, Engineer walked up next to Medic. "Howdy doc, what's going on?"

"Vhy don't you take a look for yourself?"

Engi looked up and saw Soldier climbing the tower. "What in Sam Hill is Soldier doing?"

"He's trying to fix zhe cable, but zhe cable box is not connected to the satellites dishes."

The two watched as the American climbed higher and higher, until he lost his grip and fell all the way to the ground.

 **'THUD!'**

"MEDIC!"

Medic sighed. "Herr Engineer, can you put zhis in zhe trash can? I need to get my Medi-Gun." he dropped the black bag in front of the Texan before walking back inside the base, muttering something in German.

"Must...think...about...mustard..."

Engineer shook his head as he watched Soldier mutter incoherent sentences. He disposed the trash bag before walking off to the garage. Over the years he had been employed at RED, the base's garage acted as Engineer's workshop. It wasn't as big as his back at home in Bee Cave, but it was better than nothing.

He was currently doing some routine maintenance on his buildings. The buildings were checked on very often, can't have them to be breaking down on the battlefield after all. He reached the workbench and was going to start on the Teleporter when he noticed he was missing a screwdriver.

"Darn, where could it have gone?" he muttered as he started looking around for the said tool. He figured it dropped on the ground or something.

"Engineer! Are you looking for this?"

Engineer turned around and saw Heavy behind him with the screwdriver in his large hands. "Yeah, where was it partner?"

"Heavy borrowed it to tune up Sasha," the Russian said. "Maybe Heavy should have told you first."

"Nah it's fine, as long as you return it, everything's good."

Heavy nodded. "What is Engineer doing now?"

"Ah, just tuning mah buildings, nothing much." he went over to the Teleporter and started screwing in a screw. "And that should be it."

"That simple?"

"Ah was finishing it up already, now to test it."

He placed the two buildings on the ground and turned them on. The Teleporters slowly whirled to life and produced a small 'hum'.

Engineer nodded. "Well, that's that."

He went to turn off the Teleporters but found out he couldn't. Sparks started to fly from the two buildings.

"Engineer, what is happening?" Heavy asked, backing up slightly.

"Ah don't know, but ah can't turn them off!"

Engineer started to pull out his Destruction PDA so he could destroy the buildings, but before he could press the button, the Teleporters exploded.

He felt something hard hit his face and the world around him faded to black.

* * *

Medic was the first to hear the explosion, after all, he was still healing Soldier.

 _"Vhat was zhat?"_ he thought. _"Zhat came from zhe garage."_

"You're really good, Sally," Soldier said. "Thanks doc."

"Ja, ja, now don't do any more stupid things." _Not zhat he vould listen to me though_

The German raced to the garage and found it covered in thick black smoke.

"Ach, was ist los?" he said. "Engineer, are you ok?"

"Doctor, is that you?" Heavy said as he walked out of the smoke, coughing because of it. He was a bit scratched up, but ok overall.

"Heavy, where is Engineer? And vhat happened?"

"Little Engineer's toy went boom. Heavy does not know what happened to Engineer. Too much smoke."

"Gah, zhis smoke has to clear before we can find Engineer," Medic said. "Can't see anything or breath."

"Da, Heavy hopes Engineer is ok."

The smoke eventually cleared out and the two reentered the garage. Luckily, most of the garage was undamaged, the only indication that there was an explosion were two scorch marks on the ground.

"Heavy does not see Engineer!"

"Vhere is he? He couldn't had disappeared!" Medic shouted. "I'll check zhe Respawn, continue finding him!"

"Da!" _Heavy hope little Engineer is fine..._

* * *

Pain.

That is what Engineer felt when he came to. He placed his hand on his head and saw blood.

 _Right, something hit me hard. Felt like someone took a sledgehammer to mah head_

Shaking off the pain, he tried to figure out where he was. At first, he assumed to be somewhere in the garage, but after a few glances around he found he wasn't there at all. Apparently, the Texan ended up in some kind of forest. He didn't know where exactly he was, but he knew he wasn't in Teufort anymore, nor any of the maps. It didn't feel like heavily forested areas like Sawmill and Mountain Lab at all.

He assessed his wounds and found out he got a somewhat bad head wound and a possible concussion. It wasn't too bad considering he received much worse before.

Pulling out his PDA and his Wrench, he set off to build a Dispenser. He was lucky to grab his satchel when he woke up today, or else he wouldn't be able to build the building.

(Mann Co. brand satchels enhanced with Australium to allow storage of a lot of items including weapons)

Leaning against the red colored machine, he mulled over on how he would get back to the base.

"Ah have to find where ah am first. No telling how far ah am from Teufort."

He packed up the Dispenser and shoved it into the satchel and took out a Shotgun. "No crying over spilt milk after all."

The Texan was about to leave when he heard a commotion. _What in tarnation is going on?_

Moving though the brush, he soon found out what was making all that noise. He saw two men dressed in what looked to be medieval-like garb trying to wrangle a white horse.

A white horse with a magenta, blue, and pink mane and a horn.

Wait what?

Engineer shook his head. Could it be just an illusion or something from his concussion? Cause there was no way in hell was that a unicorn right there.

* * *

 **A/N: I dunno how this would go, but here it is anyways. Hope you like it.**

 **-D.W**


	2. Chapter 2

Engineer was a man of science. Like Medic, his field was deeply rooted in the physics of, well, reality. However, over the years, he'd learned how to accept things that weren't of the natural world, like magic.

Fighting foes like Merasmus, a giant headless horseless horseman axe murder, zombies, skeletons, and a giant floating eyeball, kinda helped him to believe in the supernatural. But this...this was a whole another story.

Unicorns were not supposed to be real. The only place he'd heard of such a thing was within the depths of Pyroland, Mr. Balloonicorn, and some kid's show that Pyro, and sometimes Scout, really likes from some reason.

But there it was right in front of him, bright as day.

"Come on! Get her steady!" one of the men yelled. "If she breaks loose, there's no telling what the boss's gonna do to us!"

Before he got his eleven , Engineer worked on a ranch with his family. He had a good ole stallion named Dusty which he used to herd cattle. Sadly, old Dusty died from age, but not before leaving Engineer some valuable information, information like how to read an animal.

Thanks to Dusty, Engineer was able to read almost any animal like a book. Whether they were happy, sad, pained, etc. it wasn't very hard for the Texan to do. But it didn't take an engineer to know what the unicorn was feeling.

Fear.

The eyes tell the tale. He seen it when he first met Dusty, however, those once scared eyes faded away as the two came closer.

From folklore he knew that unicorns were wild creatures, and were scarcely seen by humans. They were pure, majestic, untouched by civilization.

His grip tightened on the Shotgun.

An engineer solves problems, practical problems...

* * *

 _Where did they come from?! I didn't sense them!_

I must be getting sloppy.

The ropes...they came from nowhere, and I could tell it was not normal rope either. I could easily break through regular rope, but these were specially made...

Made to capture me.

These humans were monster hunters, specially trained and equipped to capture monsters, like me.

Naturally, I tried to buck the ropes off of me. It was still rope, and it hadn't been tightened yet, so I tried to see if I could slip out of it. However, they were quick to realize it and quickly pulled the ropes tight. As the ropes latched onto me, I changed tactics. I instead focused on the humans hurling them into the air as they held on the ropes, hoping that they would let go of them.

Suddenly, I felt like my energy was sapped. My movements were becoming less wild. I glanced at the rope, which was now glowing.

 _Enchanted too?_

Not only was the rope hard to break, but it was infused with some kind of magic that drained my power. I started to panic. If the rope canceled magic, my only other ace was essentially gone.

I have heard of my fellow brethren being caught like this, off-guard or ambushed. I never heard from them again.

I too was going to end up just like them.

 _Please...help..._

 **'BOOM!'**

I winced as the sound of thunder echoed in my ears, before seeing one of the men fall to the ground. My eyes widened as his back was completely blown open.

More thunder echoed and more men fell to the ground in bloodied heaps. They screamed in pain and agony as blood poured from their wounds or limbs, if it got torn off of them.

 _By the gods...what is this?_

Another noise tore me from my thoughts. I scanned the area and saw a particular man appear from the brush.

A man in red.

* * *

Engineer loaded another shell into the gun before racking it. Until he brought the dispenser out again, he needed to watch his ammo reserves. He could rely on his other weapons, like the Widowmaker and the Pompson, and his pistol, but he felt that his Shotgun was the most reliable in this situation.

He emerged from the brush and into the clearing, his guard still up in case of any more enemies decide to come out. His instincts were right as another bandit came out of the clearing with a knife.

Fighting against the BLU Spy paid off, as the Texan easily dodged the wild swings and slashes. He pulled back a fist and clocked the scoundrel with his gloved hand. The man dropped to the ground, unconscious, and Engineer fired a round into the guy.

"Backstabbing coward..." he muttered before approaching the creature.

He had to approach the unicorn as gentle as possible. It probably thought it was with the men or something. He didn't want to frighten it or worse, attack him. Even the most friendliest creatures can turn deadly. Archimedes, Medic's body-cavity loving dove, has been known to gouge out eyes if provoked.

As predicted, the horse jerked back as he neared it.

"Easy there, ah ain't gonna hurt yah," he said in a low voice. "Just wanna take there ropes off yah."

He moved slowly and carefully, loosening the ropes and moving it off the creature. "There we go, now skedaddle! Ah don't want yah to get hung up by those guys again."

The cryptid hesitated for a bit before turning around. But, before it could leave, an arrow flew over his head and into a tree.

"Aw hell, more of them," he said. "Yah better go, partner. It ain't gonna be pretty."

Suddenly, he was picked up from behind and he found himself on the back of the unicorn. "What the...!"

 _"There's no time!"_ he heard in his head. It was a female voice. _"A lot more hunters are coming, red mage. Even with your staff, I doubt you would be able to take them all on."_

"Hold on are you...?" he glanced at the creature.

 _"Talking to you, yes, telepathically I am."_ The unicorn reared up before taking off into the woods. _"We must go! Hold on!"_

Engineer gripped the unicorn's mane as the world seemed to bend around them.

* * *

What seemed like mere minutes felt like hours to Engineer. This feeling of going so fast was completely new to him and was unlike anything he'd experienced before. Teleportation was one thing, but this...this was something else entirely.

The horse somehow was able to go from zero to very fast without breaking the sound barrier, something that Engineer saw as impossible. But then again, this was a unicorn.

The world began to slow and things became visible once again. The unicorn slowed to a gallop and eventually a trot before coming to a stop.

Engineer slowly got off the creature before falling flat onto his face. He moaned into the groaned as he tried to get his bearings and his lunch.

Once he was able to stand again, he faced the unicorn. "Yah better do some explaining right now." _And I can't believe I'm going to do this..._

The unicorn shook its mane and pawed the ground. _"Of course red mage,"_ it said. _"Though I must say, you are dressed quite strange for a mage."_

"Mage?" he chuckled. "Ah'm no mage."

 _"But...you shoot fire from your staff."_

"Staff? Oh, this ain't a magic wand. This is a gun," he held up the Shotgun. "Anyways, you're a unicorn, correct?"

 _"Of course? Why wouldn't I be one?"_

"Ah nothing, just making sure...say yah wouldn't know where ah am, do yeah?"

 _"You are in the land of Eldridge."_

* * *

 **A/N: To be honest, I wanted this chapter to be longer. But I have no idea how to expand on it. (and maybe because it is so** **cringy** **). Any ideas?**

 **-D.W**


End file.
